A carrot was talking to a pickle and a dick. 
The carrot says I have a hard life, people buy
me and shave me and eat me. 

The pickle said oh yeah, I used to be a cucumber
and they cooked me and flavored me and I can get
eaten too! 

Oh yeah, says the dick, well I get a plastic bag
over my head everyday and then they make me do 
pushups till I barf.