One day a mailman drove up to a women's door to
pick up a huge parcel. The women asked the man 
to come in and help her with the parcel, since 
it is a HUGE one. She kept it in the backyard so
it likely wouldn't be stolen. As they entered the
backyard, the mailman had a In-Your-Face 
encounter with some pants on a clothsline that 
was hanging out to dry. He pulls the pant out of
the way with some aggresiveness. The women 
exclaims 'Good lord! You just dirtied a perfectly
clean pant! I don't think you should be helping 
me with this. It's fragile and I don't want you 
to do the same thing. You should stay in the 
garage with my dog Ass while I haul this out to 
your delivery Van!' And so, the mailman goes into
the house to the garage to stay with Ass. 

In the Garage, the dog grew scared of the 
stranger, and bit him. The mailman winds up and
smacks the dog violently. The women see this and
tells him to stay in the living room if he can't
behave himself there. 

The living room had a cat named pussy. The cat 
was pushed off the chair by the mailman, and the
cat scratched and scratched the mailman's uniform
like it was furniture. In a fury of anger, he 
grabs the cat throat-first and pulls all the hair
off it. When the women went to the living room to
ask how much was the delivery, she saw her cat 
completly skin and bone. 
'Aaaaarrrrgggh! How dare you! I'm calling 911 to
sue your ass! Here's what it sounded like: 
A man pulled my pants, slapped my ass and pulled
all the hairs off my pussy!!!