A young man joined the Army and signed up with 
the paratroopers. He went through the standard
training, completed the practice jumps from 
higher and higher structures, and finally went to
take his first jump from an airplane.  The next 
day, he called home to his father to tell him the
news. 

"So, did you jump?" the father asked.

"Well, let me tell you what happened.  We got up 
in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door
and asked for volunteers.  About a dozen men got 
up and just walked out of the plane!"

"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.

"Um, not yet.  Then the sergeant started to grab
the other men one at a time and throw them out 
the door."

"Did you jump then?" asked the father.

"I'm getting to that.  Every one else had jumped,
and I was the last man left on the plane.  I told
the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He 
told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my 
butt." 

"So, did you jump?"

"Not then.  He tried to push me out of the plane,
but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go.  
Finally he called over the Jump Master. The Jump
Master is this great big guy, about six-foot 
five, and 250 pounds. He said to me, `Boy, are 
you gonna jump or not?' I said, `No, sir. I'm too
scared.' "So the Jump Master pulled down his 
zipper and took his penis out. I swear, it was 
about ten inches long and as big around as a 
baseball bat!  He said, 'Boy, either you jump out
that door, or I'm sticking this little baby up 
your ass.'

"So, did you jump?" asked the father. 

"Well, a little, at first."