You are no longer "cool" when ...

1. You find yourself listening to talk radio.

2. You daughter says she got pierced and you
look at her ears.

3. The pattern on your shorts and couch match.

4. You fondly remember your powder blue leisure
suit.

5. Your wife buys a flannel nighty and you find
that sexy.

6. You think Tragically Hip is when a middle-aged
man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20
year old girlfriend.

7. You criticize the kids of today for their
satanic suicide inducing music, forgetting that
you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.

8. You call the police on a noisy party next
door instead of grabbing beer and joining it.

9. You turn down free tickets to a rock concert
because you have to work the next day.

10. When grass is something that you cut, not
cultivate.

11. When jogging is something you do to your
memory.

12. Sex becomes "All that foolishness".

13. Getting a little action means your prune
juice is working.

14. All the cars behind you turn on their
headlights.

15. You remember the "Rolling Stones" as a rock
group not a corporation.

16. You bought your first car for the same price
you paid for your son's new running shoes.

17. You actually ASK for your father's advice.

18. When someone mentions surfing, you picture
waves and a surf board.