A doctor had the reputation of helping couples 
increase the joy in their sex life, but always 
promised not to take a case if he felt he could
not help them.  

The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave 
them thorough physical exams, psychological 
exams, and various tests and then concluded, 
"Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help
you.  

"On your way home from my office stop at the 
grocery store and buy some grapes and some 
doughnuts.  Go home, take off your clothes, and
you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until
you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal.  
Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her 
like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only
your tongue.  

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts 
and from across the room, toss them at your 
husband until you make a ringer around his love
pole.  Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him
and consume the doughnut." The couple went home 
and their sex life became more and more 
wonderful.  

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that 
they should see the good doctor. The doctor 
greeted the Greens and said he would not take the
case unless he felt that he could help them; so 
he conducted the physical exams and the same 
battery of tests.  

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot 
help you, so I will not take your money. I 
believe your sex life is as good as it will ever
be.  I cannot help.  

"The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You 
helped our friends the Browns, now please, please
help us."  

..."Well, all right", the doctor said.  "On your
way home from the office, stop at the grocery 
store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios...