Paul Mitchell, 29, was walking home from a
friend's Halloween party earlier this year when
he found himself next to his neighbor's pumpkin
field.

He had always joked in his mind about how the
inside of pumpkins are soft, mushy, and warm
(in Texas). So he took out his knife, cut a hole
in his choice pumpkin, and began fucking it.

An officer of the City Police Dept. saw Mitchell
and stopped to see what was going on. "I expected
Mitchell to be urinating in the field and possibly
be intoxicated," said the Officer. Mitchell didn't
hear or see the Officer as she approached due to
his newfound hobby. She shined her flashlight on
Paul and said, "Sir do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?"

Mitchell replied almost instantly, "Is it midnight
already?"